Why Women Should Support Each Other

‘The strongest women are those that build up the women around them, instead of tearing them down’

I’ve been meaning to write this post for some time now and as is often the case with my unplanned posts they come about as a result of a certain incident, life lesson or trending hashtag! As its International Day Of The Girl it seems an apt time to post this! IDOTG aims to raise awareness about a number of female issues including equal opportunities for women. If we can help support and empower each rather than trying to compete we can help each other grow. Together we can challenge stereotypes, sexism and strive for equal opportunities.

Pics taken by my friend and talented photographer Anna Sandul

Emma Miller Model Blogger Female Empowerment Support

I will begin positively, recently I’ve been fortunate to meet a number of inspiring women. Most of them are self-made entrepreneurs, including Photographers, Bloggers, YouTubers (or all of those at the same time). Not only am I filled with admiration for their work ethic and enthusiasm for what they do but also by their active support for each other! I fricking dig that! Nobody got to the top without asking for help, and we all have our limitations but together we can really grow, helping motivate and inspire each other! However, over the last month my attention has also been drawn to when this has not been the case. From reading hurtful and jealous online comments made from one blogger about another to seeing tweets that actively reinforce a divide between women who have different body shapes, I have come to the realisation greater female support is needed!

Growing up with a sister gave me an insight into what sisterhood was all about. Yes, you get annoyed and piss each other off – the amount of arguments we would have over wearing each others clothes (or rather just wearing hers) used to drive my parents crazy! I was the younger one so I would get all the hand-me-downs, times have changed thankfully! Yes, we would fight and annoy each other but in the end we would forgive, forget and move on – or at least I did

My experiences at the all-girls school I attended was less straight-forward. I definitely had my fair-share of ups and downs and realised the dichotomy of how women can be each other’s biggest supporters but likewise, each others worst enemies! As most girls do, you make friends, find your clique but as we grew up (around our GCSE’s) we became more aware of our differences, our goals, objectives and what we planned to do for the rest of our life. This gave rise to feelings of jealousy and spitefulness and yes, I got bullied and had some unpleasant experiences but having strong friendships with other girls helped me overcome this.

emma-miller-female-empowerment-body-confidence
emma-miller-female-empowerment-body-confidence

Fast forward a few years and I’m flying around the world on modelling jobs and castings- girls literally forming a line out the door to land the ‘dream’ job. Competition was fierce and at times potentially, cut-throat. As mentioned recently in my post on body confidence models are wracked with insecurities due to the nature of the job and whilst you may be the perfect model for one job this probably won’t be the case for the other 20 castings you go to! This you would expect would be the breeding ground for women tearing each other down, judging each other and thereby reinforcing the industry’s narrow beauty standards. However, my experience was quite the contrary and in fact I found one of the best aspects of the job was the friends I made and the relationships nurtured. We would often ask: Did you hear back about the job? Is your option confirmed? We were happy for each other if at least one us got the job! I guess the mentality of ‘in it together’ and comradeship came into play. We all knew how difficult it was and through the trips abroad together to the far less glamorous model apartments we shared, we found a common ground that bound us closely together.

It also made me realise that forming close bonds with girl friends, actually progressed my career and helped me book jobs. From meeting women who were either photographers, agents, PR to makeup artists, hair stylists, fashion stylists, writers and journalists. Recently a close friend and photographer recommended me to a luxury brand I hadn’t worked with before and now I’ve collaborated with the brand on a few projects. As the Blogger/YouTuber industry continues to grow more clients are looking out for the ‘right’ influencer and gladly welcome suggestions and introductions! Increasingly clients are whisking away groups of female bloggers to promote their brands and choosing a group of bloggers that are already friends is a huge plus.

emma-miller-female-empowerment-body-confidence

emma-miller-female-empowerment-body-confidence

Instead of looking to compete we should look at ways in which we can help each other grow. Naturally, we compare ourselves but one person’s gain, doesn’t mean your downfall – there’s room for us all! Each of us can own our differences whilst celebrating others. One of my favourite quotes is this:

‘The strongest women are those that build up the women around them, instead of tearing them down.”

Someone that inspires me is Facebook COO’s Sheryl Sandberg, who launched the Lean In campaign to draw attention to the need for women to to empower each other. Sandberg challenges the stereotype that women should compete with each other in order to achieve and instead explains when women club together everyone benefits!

Who inspires you? I’d love for you to share your experiences with me below in the comments! Is there a time when you’ve helped a friend, or maybe they’ve helped you? Did supporting your girlfriends make you feel good? Are you part of a local girl gang or have you created your own squad? If not give it a go – you may find a mentor and also be one!

What I’m wearing:

Bvlgari bag
Shirt
Skirt
Shoes
Necklace

Skincare/Makeup/Perfume:

L’Occitane Moisturiser
Jo Malone Perfume
Beauty Blender
MAC Lipstick
MAC Mascara
Tom Ford Foundation
Highlighter
Urban Decay Concealer
Guerlain Eyeshadow

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  • Such a lovely and well written post Emma! I think with blogging especially it can either be extremely competitive but can also be such a great community of girls supporting one another. It’s so heartwarming to read pieces like this supporting and encouraging a women for women ethos! Keep killin’ it x

    • Emma Miller

      Thank you so much Lucia for the lovely feedback. So happy to hear you liked this post :)) I totally agree with you! The blogging community has the potential to offer so much support! I hope this post inspires others to think about how we can help each other grow and push for gender equality!

      Looking forward to watching your first YouTube video! Em xx

  • Emma Miller

    Thank you so much Lucia for the lovely feedback. So happy to hear you liked this post :)) I totally agree with you! The blogging community has the potential to offer so much support! I hope this post inspires others to think about how we can help each other grow and push for gender equality!
    Looking forward to watching your first YouTube video! Em xx

  • Realist Soul

    This was actually more of a reaffirming read in the sense that I want to see a positive change in the status quo. The constraints and barriers that exist in our antiquated patriarchal society should be eliminated. Gender roles, like race, are just mere social constructs. It’s not a revolutionary concept to want a more equitable society in which women can thrive on the merits of their abilities and talent. If you had to pin a label on me the most apt one would be that of a traditional feminist in the sense that I agree with the true definition of feminism.
    Interesting fact: there is a direct correlation between gender equality and a country’s general well being. The worst countries to live in are the most oppressive to women.
    As an outsider, I thought it was unfortunate to witness female bloggers throwing shade at each other. I’m not going to mention the specific incident. Competition is innate, but collaborating and encouraging each other is preferable and more conducive to women’s empowerment. A rising tide lifts all boats. This is the new media. There’s a reason why a certain magazine published that contemptible article, but that’s not worth discussing.
    My mother is an inspiring woman! That’s a really cliche answer to your question. I had a platonic relationship with a young lady that helped me with financial literacy. If not for her I’d probably be broke and destitute because of my propensity for spending. Okay, anyway…
    You’re inspiring Emma. This is an overwhelmingly outstanding piece. You’re very erudite and your flair for writing is extraordinary. It took a while for me to properly digest this article, but once I did I was able to write something that wasn’t contrived as the words just started to flow effortlessly.
    Obviously I think you’re immensely physically attractive. Your most endearing qualities though are your intelligence, personality and compassion. You have a lot of heart. Keep slaying it girl! I love you Emma!

    • Thank you so much for taking the time to read and write a really great response. It’s so lovely to hear your perspective and also for your support! This post was easy to write because its something I feel so passionate about. As always, let me know what you’d like to see next on the blog! Love EM xo

  • Realist Soul

    This was actually more of a reaffirming read in the sense that I want to
    see a positive change in the status quo. The constraints and barriers
    that exist in our antiquated patriarchal society should be eliminated.
    Gender roles, like race, are just mere social constructs. It’s not a
    revolutionary concept to want a more equitable society in which women
    can thrive based on the merits of their abilities and talent. If you had
    to pin a label on me the most apt one would be that of a traditional
    feminist in the sense that I agree with the true definition of feminism.
    Interesting
    fact: there is a direct correlation between gender equality and a
    country’s general well being. The worst countries to live in are the
    most oppressive to women.
    As an outsider, I thought it was
    unfortunate to witness female bloggers throwing shade at each other. I’m
    not going to mention the specific incident. Competition is innate, but
    collaborating and encouraging each other is preferable and more
    conducive to women’s empowerment. A rising tide lifts all boats. This is
    the new media. There’s a reason why a certain magazine published that
    contemptible article, but that’s not worth discussing.
    My mother is
    an inspiring woman! That’s a really cliche answer to your question
    though. I had a platonic relationship with a young lady that helped me
    with financial literacy. If not for her I’d probably be broke and
    destitute because of my propensity for spending.
    You’re
    inspiring Emma. This is an overwhelmingly outstanding piece. You’re
    very erudite and your flair for writing is extraordinary. It took a
    while for me to properly digest this article, but once I did I was able
    to write something that wasn’t contrived as the words just started to
    flow effortlessly.
    Obviously I think you’re immensely physically
    attractive. Your most endearing qualities though are your intelligence,
    personality and compassion. You have a lot of heart. Keep slaying it
    girl! I love you Emma!

    • Emma Miller

      Thank you so much for taking the time to read and write a really great response. It’s so lovely to hear your perspective and also for your support! I read that given the rate at which females are attaining leadership roles in the upper reaches of (US) companies it will take more than 100 years for gender parity. Thats a crazy amount of time to wait! I really hope others will read this post and understand that coming together and unifying rather than seeing each other as competition can really help move things forward!

      Thats a really interesting fact and makes a lot of sense! I didn’t realise that the incident was mentioned in a published article! You must tell me which magazine I’d be interested to read it and see what view they had.

      Thats so sweet that your mum inspires you! I am so grateful for your ongoing support and commentary! It means a lot!
      This post was easy to write because its something I feel so passionate about. As always, let me know what you’d like to see next on the blog! Now the winter is coming I’d love to get some healthy recipes/ videos up on the blog here!

      Love EM xo

      • Realist Soul

        Emma it only takes one voice to be the catalyst for change!
        Incident was never mentioned in an article. Read about it on Twitter and blogs. I’ll edit my comments next time for clarity & brevity. That bullshit article published by Vogue (after MFW) is an entirely different subject.
        2nd time posting I omitted that I was helped with financial literacy by a “platonic” friend.
        Whatever direction you wanna go babe. I’m just here for the ride. Peace!

  • Mohamed Keshk

    lovely Emma, women and giving support to each other, it’s such an adorable thoughts and definitely I’m agree with you. Keep moving forward Emma

    • Emma Miller

      Thanks so much Mohamed! Happy you agree and nice to have a mix of both female and male support! Thanks for all your support! xx

  • Alexandra Edney

    conpletely agree, there are so many trying to tear us ladies down… We need to stick together and support eachother. Realise that we all have our own special type of beauty and strive everyday to make sure our girlfriends realise theirs! Absolutely love your blogs Emma, I love how you’re a girls girl and give confidence and support to all woman. We should never tear eachother down through our own jealousy and insecurities… We need to build eachother and realise we are all unique and equally beautiful #womansworld ❤️

    • Emma Miller

      Hey Alexandra!
      Reading this gave me a grin like a cheshire cat!! Haha You’re so right! I love that I have followers who are on the same page and have a lot in common with me 🙂 xx

  • Mark

    Interesting to read from a guys point of view. I kinda feel sad that girls need to be encouraged to support each other more. In fact we should all support each other regardless of race, colour, religion, sex, etc. I don’t think it will happen in my lifetime but it’s about time we all started looking at each other as one thing and one thing alone – a person. Only then would inequalities like pay gaps, rivalries etc. disappear. Support from any quarter is always inspiring to me. I’ve always felt good about supporting others, unfortunately for me they don’t feel the need to return the favour. But even so I will always be there for others because it’s the decent thing to do and it feels good. great piece Emma. Xxx